How to stop crushing on them?
Hello, Namaste, welcome fam! 🌸
Back with another psychologically stimulating blog and this one is a little touchy.
It’s about your crush. Your infatuation. The person you absolutely do NOT want to be wasting your time thinking about.
Yes. That person.
Unless you genuinely see them as someone you could build a future with and, more importantly, there is a realistic possibility of that happening ...why spend hours of your mental energy obsessing over someone who may never become a part of your life?
Come on. Somewhere, your instinct usually knows.
A few of my friends keep asking me how I don't get into mindless dating, how I don't develop crushes, etc. Honestly, never really had an actual in-person crush..till now atleast☠️🧿. But even when I notice a minor attraction developing, I try to end it right there. Maybe trained moral radar since childhood. 😂
But if you haven't.. don't worry. Here are a few things you can try.
Based partly on my own observations, experiences shared by friends, and a little YouTube gyan...so take it with a pinch of salt. It's for everyone...who has a crush, doesn't have one...we all need this reminder, don't we?🙃
Don't read unless you don't want to stop crushing, and actually enjoy it...not meant to offend anyone in any way. Positive vibes only!!!
1. Tell yourself: “This is a just an attraction. It's not happening.”:
Sometimes the simplest thing is the hardest: let it go. Don't negotiate with yourself. Don't keep thinking, “Maybe someday…” Don't create imaginary scenarios where you suddenly confess your feelings, they reciprocate, and everything magically works out.
If you know this isn't going anywhere, accept it. And then reduce the fuel: stop looking for them, stop checking their social media, stop bringing them up in conversations, stop asking mutual friends about them, and stop finding excuses to be around them.
Because out of sight really can become out of mind. The less frequently your brain receives reminders of them, the weaker the mental loop becomes.
2. Nitpick.... but intelligently:
This might sound petty, but hear me out. Infatuation has a funny habit of putting someone through a highlight reel. You notice their smile, their voice, their confidence, the way they dress and suddenly your brain has edited out everything else.
So deliberately ask yourself: “What DON'T I like about this person?” What qualities would genuinely bother you in a partner? What are your non-negotiables? Are your values compatible? Do you admire their character, or are you simply attracted to their personality, appearance or attention?
Are you attracted to who they actually are, or to the version of them you've created in your head?
The goal isn't to convince yourself that they're a terrible person. It's to de-idealise them. They're a normal human being, not the protagonist of your imaginary love story.
3. Stop feeding the fantasy:
This, honestly, is a BIG one. Sometimes you're not addicted to the person. You're addicted to the possibility of the person.
You imagine conversations that never happened. You replay tiny interactions. You interpret a “hey” as a sign. You imagine what dating them would be like. You construct an entire relationship with someone who hasn't actually given you one.And every time you do this, you strengthen the attachment.
So when you catch yourself fantasising, gently interrupt it: “That's a story I'm creating, not reality.”
Come back to what you actually know. Not what you hope. Not what you assume. Not what your brain has written.
Reality.
4. Redirect the dopamine:
You can't simply tell your brain, “Stop thinking about them.” That's often exactly how you end up thinking about them MORE.
Instead, give your attention somewhere else. Exercise. Study. Build something. Read. Meet your friends. Work on your career. Pick up that hobby you've abandoned. Travel. Create. Improve yourself.
The objective isn't to sit in your room fighting your thoughts all day. It's to make your own life so mentally and emotionally fulfilling that one person doesn't occupy 80% of your bandwidth.
Your brain needs something else to attach its attention to.
5. Don't turn attraction into an identity:
Having a crush isn't a personality trait. You don't need to tell everyone. You don't need to make them your “person.” You don't need to stalk their Instagram, analyse every interaction, or make every song suddenly about them. 😭
Sometimes attraction is simply attraction. You can notice it without nurturing it.
A feeling doesn't automatically deserve action. You can feel something and still choose not to pursue it.And honestly, that's a very underrated form of self-control.
At the end of the day, infatuation isn't necessarily bad. It's human. It's normal to find someone attractive. It's normal to feel butterflies. It's normal for your brain to get excited about someone.
The problem begins when a temporary feeling starts consuming permanent parts of your life - your time, your focus, your peace, your self-respect, your goals.
So if you know something isn't meant to happen, don't keep watering it and then complain that it's growing.
Let it pass.
Focus on your own life. Build yourself. Become so occupied with becoming the person you're meant to be that you don't have to chase every person who gives you butterflies.
And when the right person does come along someone you genuinely respect, whose values align with yours, and with whom a real future is possible.. you won't have to manufacture an obsession.
You'll know the difference between fantasy and compatibility.
And maybe, just maybe, true love won't feel like something you had to desperately chase.
It'll simply arrive when the time is right.
Until then, protect your peace. ❤️
Will be back with another blog soon.
Until then...
SarvamShreeKrishnarpanamasthu. 🙏
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